Twilight: New Moon, a movie review
Welcome to a blog built for the purpose of holding a few rants upon any given subject, because in all honesty someone has to say this shit and at least be critical of bullshit when they see it.
Moving right along, today I will be giving you a review of one of the most terrible movies I have ever watched; Twilight. Yes, I know there are many fans out there that love the movie series, novels, etc., but of course I do not give a fuck in the slightest. Anyway, for those of you not familiar (though I highly doubt you aren't) Twilight, like I mentioned above, is a series of novels created by: Stephanie Myers, about a high school girl who falls madly in love with (of all things) a vampire and is caught in a love triangle with him as well as a werewolf, which gained a lot of success resulting in the first movie being made in 2009 as well as merchandise and t-shirts.
Let's take a step back. Twilight's first movie showed me exactly what type of girl isn't a positive role model, for instance, Bella, the main character of the series, is in rough shape mentally. From what I gathered, she was somewhat of an outcast and was a bit broken inside. Of course she made friends and seemed as though she was about to get herself on the right track, but then Edward, the emo vampire, steps into her life. That's when it all went down hill.
Further showing us how damaged she is, after finding out this dude is a vampire (with diamond skin? really?) she gets curious. Several problems with this: 1. he was waaaaaaaaay older than her. Technically it would be fair to say he's a child molester. 2.he stood over her bed while she was sleeping. That would make him a stalker. 3. she knows damn well that by nature he is a predator and can kill her. 4. Bella is dumb, period.
When you break it all down, besides the characters being beyond corny, lacking a sense of personality and Bella being a confused and slightly delusional teenage girl, it's subliminally sending the message of a girl picking the guy that's bad for her in so many ways is some how romantic and charming. It also exposes a lot more metaphorically. For example, Diamond skin, it represents the notion of the old idea that diamonds are a girls best friend, leaning towards a materialistic and shallow state of mind. Another subliminal shot comes from her wanting to be a vampire too. A firm representation of changing everything she is (you know her individuality? although she doesn't have much, at all) to become something that she is not, because she feels it's the only way they can be together. Granted she had a point, at the drop of blood his family was ready to pounce on her to obey their thirst! Apparently they don't drink the blood of humans, they're vegans, so they drink the blood of animals. Wait... what? This shit makes no sense! Also if Bella knew they were like that why the hell does she still want to be with him and hang around them? That's a sign telling you to stay the fuck away from that bunch, but no, she ignores the obvious. By the way the fight at the end was so anti-climatic...
Okay now on to the second movie......
Picking up where they left off in the first movie, Bella is indeed still in love with the emo vampire and the acting is as poor as it was last movie. (for the record, Dracula would waste him with one hand) In this sequel Bella becomes a bit more unhinged than she was in the first movie, graduating to desperate and borderline psychotic. It all happens after Edward tells her they can't be together after a single drop of blood from Bella's paper cut almost turns into a feeding frenzy, prompting the emo to throw Bella into the wall to protect her. Yeah, because flinging your girl with super strength into a wall (that could have left her with a concussion and broken bones) was the best way to save her. Right.... Anyway, after he tells her it's done, she can't deal with it. He tells her she won't be able to find him, making things much worst for the poor girl, and tells her to promise she won't do anything "reckless", but come on man, it's Bella we're talking about here. After he vanishes, guess what she does? If you guessed: looked for him aimlessly until it was dark and trips, you are a winner!
Skipping to her promise of not being "reckless", she starts putting herself in serious danger just to see him again. Little girls watched this....? I will say this much, with the wolf boy appearing he would have been the better choice, although by nature he would also be considered to be a predator as well, but still. Instead of that thought Bella decides to use him.... yeah, some role model. To be honest this movie has some qualities that could have been made into something amazing, but it fails with it's flawed concept of romance with a character who has the reasoning of a twelve year old school girl, with a warped sense of logic. Even her love for the emo is unrealistic and disturbing on so many levels.
All in all it's not worth it, spare yourselves and watch The Time Traveler's Wife.
